Author Archives: ameliaflorencesimmons

NYE Resolution Challenge: January RESULTS

Posted in Challenges, Positive Thinking by

At the beginning of January, I set myself a series of challenges to kick start my new year. I’ve managed some and completely and utterly failed others. Here are the results…

 1.  Try a completely new fitness class

I’d planned to get down to the local gym, but the sessions on offer weren’t exactly ground-breaking, and most were something I’d done before. I’m aiming to try zero gravity yoga at some point, but still waiting for it to be rolled out across the UK! Anyway, I set this goal because I was falling off the exercise wagon, badly. Try motivating yourself to do exactly the same DVD everyday and you’ll start to go insane.

I use YouTube a lot for workouts, particularly Pop Pilates, but again, that didn’t come under the banner of ‘something new’. I Googled ‘fitness trends’, and up popped a link to a site called www.thinqfitness.com, a virtual space where you can be ‘taught’ routines. It’s exactly like being in a class, expect for the fact that you don’t have overzealous people crashing into you, and sweating.

I road-tested two. Firstly, cheerleading. Now, strictly speaking, I’ve done this before, but it was so much fun that I wanted to mention it. I then spotted belly dancing. I have NEVER attempted this. My early grounding in ballet has made it impossible for me to be really loose with my hips (ooh err!), and my back is perma-straight. ‘This is it,’ I thought. ‘This is the challenge’. I did it, and I found it VERY difficult. It just goes against the rules my body has learnt! Plus I was a bit terrified of the instructor. Still, I tried it! And I may well try it again…It got me in the carnival mood, just in time for ‘Hot Brazil’ at the V&A (more on that later).

2. Exercise 6 days a week

I can’t check this off, sadly. I thought it was achievable because I’d stuck to that schedule for two months in the lead up to Christmas. Suddenly, in the New Year, when everyone was gearing up for the gym, I suddenly got extremely burned out, probably due to my daily two hour workout sessions, every day but Sunday. I started slipping off quite badly. I made a goal of working out every other day instead, but I struggled with that for the first few weeks. I decided to go for runs instead, as I sabotage myself by exercising at home, then getting distracted by a text or an email. I’ve got better now, and am at least doing a bit of something every day.

3.  Read at least 2 books of some merit – no chick lit!

I read Imperial Bedrooms by Bret Easton Ellis. I also read ‘How To Be a Woman’, but I don’t think that counts.  I also read a book of Polly Sampson short stories and started Less Than Zero and The Doll, by Daphne Du Maurier. All in all, a very good innings, considering I was freakishly busy.

4. Keep to my newly devised blogging schedule

The blogging schedule was a plan I devised myself so I could start posting more regularly. I’ve not 100% stuck to it, in the sense that I’ve actually posted more than I planned! And it’s already had a great effect. Two weeks into January and I’d had more blog views than in the whole of December!

5. Apply for membership of the Royal Society of Literature

I applied! And I got my beautiful card – see below. I’ve already booked for two events, including ‘Being a Poet’ and ‘Titanic Voyagers’. I’m extremely excited.

6. Attend a late night at the V&A

Hot Brazil night! It was…well, hot. And busy. Click on the hyperlink to see more about it, and my other museum adventures.

7. Attend a talk/lecture at the V&A

Weather permitting, tonight I’m attending the ominously named ‘Deadwood: The Future of Magazines’.

8. Do something wholly to benefit someone other than myself

Urgh. I’m appalling. I attempted this – I’m an ambassador for the Teenage Cancer Trust, and we’ve been putting some plans together, but I don’t think I can count this as truly doing something for someone else. Uh uh. Try again next time, contestant.

9. Submit a piece of my writing with the aim of getting it published

I did this in a roundabout way. My friend and I pitched an online magazine idea to an arts organisation, which would entail doing writing. As part of the application process, I had to upload writing to my portfolio, so I’m going to go ahead and check this one off, as we worked very hard on it.

10. Listen to a whole album by an artist I’ve never listened to

I set myself this challenge because I’m such an old man. I sit around banging on about how great the 80s were (despite being born at the tail-end of the decade!) for music, and how I don’t like anything new. Well, that’s pathetic, and a bad attitude.

When I went to Latitude last year, I listened to lots of new music in ‘preparation’ for the festival, because while I knew reams of songs by Adam Ant, OMD, and Echo & The Bunnymen, I’d never heard anything by Foals, The Vaccines, Hurts or Everything Everything. I made myself listen to them, and I actually loved most of it. I felt like I’d wasted a portion of my youth just rediscovering old music, and not hearing anything new.

I chose Young Knives because I listened to a bit of ‘Love My Name’ and really enjoyed it. I listened to ‘Ornaments From the Silver Arcade’ and I fell in love with it (Even if I did have to stop myself going ‘it sounds like Devo!’). It was incredible to do that thing where you really ‘discover’ an album. Where you start off by liking one song, and then suddenly you really love about three others, and you just work through the album. My picks are ‘Woman’, ‘Human Again’ and ‘Everything Falls into Place’.

It’s a big thumbs up from me on Young Knives, and I also listened to Neon Indian’s ‘Era Extrana’, and got really into that too. ‘Polish Girl’ was my standout track. I found once I broke that first barrier, I actually wanted to discover loads of new bands, instead of wishing away my youth! I’m actually genuinely proud of myself for putting down the Steely Dan and listening to something made this side of the century.

 11. Learn a new song on my ukulele

Ok, I feel a bit like I aced this one, folks. I got a bit cocky. I didn’t just learn a new song, I learnt a MASH UP. A mash up that I INVENTED. I was messing around learning ‘Wetsuit’ by The Vaccines, which is very simple in the chord department (think Ramones.) For ages, I’d been wanting to rework ‘Stand & Deliver’ as something a little more melodic, and slightly less speak/singy. It actually came to me when I was singing in the bath, a slightly less shouty version.

I was tinkering around on the uke, working out a segue from Wetsuit to Stand & Deliver, when I realised they used the same chords. Interesting….Next thing I knew, I was splitting them up and retooling them into one song. And it might be terrible, but at least I can tick it off the list, and I bloody enjoyed it as well.

12. Visit a bar I’ve never been to in London

I visited the long bar at the Sanderson Hotel as part of a press launch. It was absolutely beautiful, and I think I might now want to live there.

13.   Start my Vogue Secret Address book challenge

I started, with A is for Apps. More to come soon.

14.   Draw something

I’d ordered some Sharpies, and I wanted to do something truly epic. I didn’t. Instead I just drew this when I was supposed to be working:

15.   Stop procrastinating and design and order my business cards

I did it! I ordered a personal set and a set for my role at LadyMPresents.co.uk. I got them from Moo.com and they were, like, WELL ace.

16.   Throw a dinner party

Another big fat fail. There was just NO TIME. And everyone kept saying it was going to snow. Urgh…I’ll have to roll it over for another month.

So there we go, chaps! I managed about 13 out of 16, which I’m actually quite pleased with. So, what shall I do for February? I need suggestions! Either comment on here or drop me a line at @ameliafsimmons. How was your January? Did you do anything epic, unusual, or just plain stupid?

I love you byeeee xx

Brighton

Posted in Adventures, Girl About Town by

‘Devenir gris’

Ah, Brighton. I grew up not far from this wonderful city, and it’s always had a place in my heart (oh, crikey. Have I been reading Mills & Boon or something?!) But the sentiment remains the same. If you’ve ever visited, you’ll know there’s a really special feeling to the place. It’s like London’s younger sister, the one who gets absolutely trashed every weekend, has a better wardrobe, a string of boyfriends, can’t hold down a job, but loves life. That is Brighton.

I personally always love visiting sea fronts in Winter. Something about seeing gaudy neon lettering on tacky piers set against a grey sky and sea really strikes me. That’s especially true of Brighton since the decay of the West Pier, which perches, skeletal, in the murky sea, facing off against its rival, the other pier, still running. Just. The wind blows up empty streets near the sea front, and the denizens of Brighton sidle around, coat collars drawn up and hands tucked into gloves.The city really does have an air of faded glamour. Things are slightly peeling at the edges, a little out of focus. A seaside postcard bleached out by the sun.

I visited the other week to work on a street style project for Kenco Millicano in association with www.LadyMPresents.co.uk, so you can hop over to the site to look at the amazing style of Brighton residents. Because the city is a character in itself, I also shot a lot of incidental photos in between people, and wanted to include them here, on my blog. My photos at the moment are definitely tending towards the bleak, I’m afraid! It’s strange – I dislike Winter hugely, and feel like I don’t come alive until Spring, but I’ve been transfixed by the broken structures of trees against skies, and a general appearance of ‘greyness’.

Despite this muted colour pallette, the Brighton residents provided the colour. Within about 15 minutes, I saw a very white middle class chap singing Shaggy songs, a man playing a piano outside (the piano was on wheels), and a man in a top hat rollerblading. Good.

I love Brighton.

They call it Making History

Posted in Adventures, Girl About Town by

As any of you who know me on Twitter/Facebook will have seen, I’ve been Lord Grumpy of Grumpsville House, Grumpington this week. Reading that back, I wonder why I’ve characterised myself as a man, but ours is not to question why. Anypoodle, it’s been an exceptionally stressful week. One of those horrible little ‘spiral’ weeks where thing after thing goes wrong, and you find yourself questioning the path you’ve taken.

This whole self-employment lark is fairly new to me, and there are days when I can’t believe how lucky I am, and other days where my To Do list is the length of an Olympic swimming pool, there’s no money in the bank because one week I get paid a fortune, and the next I get enough for a packet of Super Noodles, I have a million emails to deal with, and I find the only communication I’ve had with anyone is talking to a vase of pink roses. Usually, the luckiness wins, because I LOVE not being in an office. I love getting to explore the world, have a bath in the afternoon, do things on my own terms, make my own success. I don’t even care that I’ll work till 11pm, because I can take myself off to London of an afternoon and do something fun.

This week highlighted both the best and worst bits of my lifestyle. I’m starting to get a little burned out, which I attribute to not taking weekends at the weekend, but rather having a ‘weekend’ on, say, a Wednesday afternoon. But that’s one side of it, and one bad week out of many good ones. If I had an office job, I wouldn’t have been able to hop off on Wednesday and take some very moody photos in St James’s Park in the half-light, which helped sort out my head. I also made a pilgrimage to 221b Baker Street, and visited the V&A, the Natural History Museum, AND the Science Museum.

I was looking forward to the V&A hugely; they were holding a Lates event called ‘Hot Brazil’. Well, as my friend India dubbed it, it was more like ‘deafening, over-crowded, poorly planned Brazil’. The main entrance was horribly packed, and after my silly week, I wasn’t exactly in the mood to get bashed into/stepped on/elbowed by hundreds of drunk people attempting the Samba. The event listing had advertised heaps of fun things to do, but there was no sign of them. The only place we saw that looked promising was roped off and for Mastercard holders only, and there was no info on where/when things were going on (which was something the Science Museum provided visitors with for their Lates event.)

Instead, we decided to stroll around the rest of the museum, which was delightfully empty. Then we lolled along to the Natural History museum, which was MUCH more fun. The atmosphere was nicer, and if you haven’t seen those dinosaurs at night, you’ve missed out. So in a roundabout way, here are a few photos of my week….the good parts.

Music for break-ups

Posted in Music by

I’m not your stereotypical ‘break up music’ girl. Let me own up to that right away. It’s counter-intuitive to me. So, you’re feeling miserable, and you want to listen to….more miserable music, to make you feel worse? What?? I’ve always done the opposite. It’s on with the dancey stuff, the dubstep, the fast-paced music filleted of emotion. The second I break up with someone is the second I pop on, oh, I don’t know, Santogold, or Adam Ant, or anything, ANYTHING that isn’t slow or moody. It isn’t just the music; I also dress up. I can guarantee that if you see me the week after a break up, I will look fantastic and totally overdone. It’s just a matter of principle.

The last break up was different. I knew it was coming for ages, and I knew I was going to have to do it. It all crashed down around Christmas and New Year, which – newsflash – was not entirely conducive to my strategy of ‘PUSH YOUR EMOTIONS ASIDE, GET OUT AND DANCE’. I was stuck inside the house, doomed to days of seeing relatives and being asked about my love life, and all my friends were equally busy with family obligations. My coping mechanisms weren’t going to work. A tip – never, ever break up with someone during the festive period.

So I wasn’t able to forget it. And suddenly I found myself drawn to cathartic music instead of soulless beats. There is something about The Vaccines that just….strikes something deep inside me. Their sounds have a slightly echoing, epic quality, with the singer sounding simultaneously far away and yet inside your ear. I froze when I heard this song. Quite a few Vaccines tracks are about that awkward transition from being young and irresponsible to being an adult; as in ‘Wetsuit’, and this one taps into that feeling as well.

It’s bizarre when you hear a song that perfectly encapsulates how you feel. I think we all seek meaning in songs, we are all quick to align ourselves with the message. I suppose that’s why so many people do listen to break up music. This one was perfect. Not ostensibly about a relationship, but more about time drifting on. ‘You wanna get young, but you’re just getting older, and you had a good Summer but it’s suddenly over, if you want a bit of love, put your head on my shoulder, it’s cool’. There was something about it that engulfed me. I couldn’t move as I listened to it.

‘Is THIS what I’ve been missing?’ I wondered. ‘Maybe there is something to be said for a bit of self-indulgent misery every now and then’. Because it felt like it was helping. The song allowed me to feel sad, and angry, and frustrated, and unhappy, but at the same time it was someone else singing, somebody else’s words. I could still hold it at arm’s length. I could walk away at any time.

I scooped up an old teddy bear that belonged to my dad when he was young, and I sat down with it on my bedroom floor. I listened to this track more than a few times. I cried and cried, and then calmed down. I allowed myself about two days of being sad, because if you know me, you’ll know that’s an EXTRAORDINARY amount of time for me to be miserable. I so desperately want to be melancholic, but I get cheered up too easily and I ruin the effect. After two days, I shelved the song, put down the bear, and got up.

It came on my iPhone earlier while I was running, and I remembered how I’d felt. I decided to give the song to all of you, as well. Just in case you need it.

 

 

 

 

 

Birthday

Posted in Adventures, Girl About Town by

Had an usually quiet one this year, possibly because of it falling on a Monday. A Monday in January. A Monday in January when we’re all supposed to be extremely depressed.

This year, I have finally dug my heels in and said ‘No!’ I refuse to put up with having my birthday in a notoriously rubbish month. I hate the Winter and love the Summer. So I’m implementing a new tactic – an ‘official’ birthday that will happen in May.

Not that it wasn’t a lovely week. I had a family-oriented day on Monday, and saw friends for the rest of the week. My birthday also fell on a week when some crucial business/project type discussions have been taking place. All very exciting, but I’ve definitely been glued to my computer/phone too much.

Anyway, in the spirit of not posting my usual 1500-2000 words, I’ve decided to let the photos do the talking….

Awareness

Posted in Charity, Social Media by

It’s started again.

To give them credit, it took me a while to get it, this time around. I genuinely believed that a disproportionate number of my friends were going abroad for sustained periods of time.

Then finally it clicked – a number combined with an arbitrary ‘thing’, a place, or a sweet, or a type of pony, whatever. Yes, folks. It was the return of the ghastly ‘awareness-raising’ update.

Check your inbox. Chances are you’ll have seen something like this:

“Girls! I just don’t feel like anyone is commenting on my Facebook wall at the moment, and it’s bringing me down. I feel unloved and devoid of attention. I’ve decided that we should all confuse the male population, poor things, by posting nonsensical statii (that’s a thing!) that will surely garner lots of comments and widespread bemusement.

Want to join in? Follow these instructions.

Oh, and if anyone asks, yeah….it’s like, raising awareness for breast cancer and stuff. “

Ok, so maybe it wasn’t exactly that. But I’m afraid I’m showing no mercy this morning. The general upshot is that people then post these ridonculous updates which in no way relate to the topic, and in NO way raise awareness.

Awareness of what? Breast cancer? Oh, what’s that? I’ve never heard of it. I think we all know what breast cancer is, and that, in general, it’s bad. I would be less brutal if the original message sent around reminded women to check the health of their own breasts, or to contribute something to charity, or….well, anything, really.

And I am not blameless (I am never, ever blameless.) I myself have done it. I mindlessly went along with it, not really engaging my brain, not wondering for a second how exactly this was doing anything for anyone. It isn’t getting people to donate. It isn’t getting anyone to give up their time to help, and as I’ve already mentioned, it doesn’t even remind women to check themselves. The messages sent round seem to be geared more at confusing the male population.

‘But it’s fun!’ you cry. Is it? ‘Fun’ for me is getting tanked up on pink bubbles and doing the Charleston with Cumberbatch. Not popping a random series of words on my Facebook page and pretending I’m doing something useful.

I Googled it, and it seems to be a bit of a ‘hot button topic’, as Adam and Joe are so fond of calling such things. It appears to totally divide the population, with half saying ‘what the hell is the point?’ and the other half going ‘but it raises awareness’. And sure, maybe at first it did, because it was originally about bra colour – related to breasts, see? – and might have happened around the month of October, which is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

But now, cycle after cycle has rolled by. It’s January and I’m still seeing it. I apologise if you devote hours of your life to fundraising or supporting the cause, and you happen to find it worthwhile to put on your wall. What I can’t forgive is what one blog dubbed ‘Slacktivism’. I Wiki-ed it (welcome back, Wiki!):

“Slacktivism (sometimes slactivism or slackervism) is a portmanteau formed out of the words slacker and activism. The word is usually considered a pejorative term that describes “feel-good” measures, in support of an issue or social cause, that have little or no practical effect other than to make the person doing it feel satisfaction. The acts tend to require minimal personal effort from the slacktivist. The underlying assumption being promoted by the term is that these low cost efforts substitute for more substantive actions rather than supplementing them, although this assumption has not been borne out by research. [1]

Slacktivist activities include signing Internet petitions,[2] joining a community organization without contributing to the organization’s efforts, copying and pasting of Social Network statuses or messages or altering one’s personal data or avatar on social network services.

The Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS describes the term “slacktivist”, saying it “posits that people who support a cause by performing simple measures are not truly engaged or devoted to making a change”.[3]”

Crikey. Look, this is my second rant-y post in as many weeks. I appear to be turning into Charlie Brooker, but in a dress. I apologise for that, my blog is usually a place of positivity, good humour, and general inspiring bits and bobbles. But I feel strongly about this little conundrum, and I’m going to speak up about it.

My Google search revealed many people who felt the same. The worst thing was reading blog posts by cancer survivors, saying they didn’t get it. And worse still were the voices who spoke up about the ‘I’m 6 weeks and craving’ posts. Aggressive cancer treatments can leave survivors infertile. One woman described how she’d sobbed, convinced that by some weird coincidence a handful of her friends were all pregnant, while she herself would never have children.

Please, just think about it next time. Think about what it’s actually achieving, in real terms. Sure, for a minute or so you might get a smug glow of feeling like you’ve done something – I know, I’m sure I had that when I did it. But come on, girls. We can prove we’re more intelligent than this, surely? Let’s demonstrate to society that we don’t just loll around thinking up ways to annoy/confuse men, like some sort of play by Sheridan.

Let’s accept that we’ve all done it, and it was a bit fun at the time, but that ultimately, IT ISN’T DOING ANYTHING if that is all you’re going to do. There are so many easy ways of getting involved with helping a charity. Just give a bit of money. Can’t afford it? No worries, it’s a recession – how about doing a sponsored run? Not a runner? That’s fine. Donate a bit of your time.

Come on, guys. Don’t be a Slacktivist. You know, you can still post a status about breast cancer awareness? It doesn’t have to tell the world about your bra colour/imply to the social network that you’re pregnant. And please stop trying to confuse The Men.

Peace out,

Amelia