Facebook Celibacy Update: Day Two

Somehow, I’ve struggled through Day One.

I did twice, the automatic Facebook.com typing thingy, but managed to stop myself in time.

I have to say, I’m feeling a bit freed. For me, I sometimes get this tiny anxiety bubble when I’m scrolling through my Newsfeed. You have that teetering feeling of not knowing what you’re going to find out – maybe your ex-boyfriend is now listed in a relationship, and it still hurts a bit. Maybe your best friends are making plans without you. I have to say, I don’t think these things have really happened to me, but there’s always the fear.

That said, I’m missing knowing what people are up to. This is doing no good whatsoever for my voyeuristic tendencies. And I’ve never used Twitter so much in my life.

So we’re at Day Two, and let’s see if it really hits me today. I’ve certainly realised how much time I spend on the bloody thing, and how many times I’ve found myself on the 92nd photo of profile pictures of someone I don’t even know. It’s a supreme form of time wasting, and it’s difficult to admit to myself quite how so. I’ve always thought that because I don’t play games – video, computer, or otherwise, I’m fairly virtuous in terms of computer usage. But God, no.

Yesterday, I used my abundance of spare time to start designing a jewellery collection.

I do sort of miss stalking people though.

Not that that’s something I do….

Ta ta for now.

Breaking up is never easy, I know

Dear Facebook,

I’m not really sure where to start. I suppose I don’t really know what to say to you right now, it feels like I don’t even know you, but I’ll just have to try.

So. I think we both know that things have changed lately. Right? I’ve changed too, sure, but it’s like you’re going 100 miles an hour, and you never actually stop and ask me what I think. I suppose that’s a big deal for me. You don’t really care, do you? Sure, you used to ask me what was on my mind, but that all seems like a long time ago now. How about just making sure I’M ok?

It’s just getting so complicated. My head is absolutely pounding.

Something else that gets me? I used to love the way you looked. But you just keep on messing around with yourself, and for the love of God, you need to stop! You used to look GREAT. You were attractive and….well, I used to like just sitting there, looking at you for hours. But now? I can’t…I can’t even look at you. You’re so vain. You’ve spent such a long time working on yourself, always changing changing changing. Again, you stopped caring what I thought about that a long time ago.

I used to like you. I used to respect you. We were good together, ok? But I can’t do this anymore. I feel like I don’t know who you are, or what you want.

The thing is, we’ve come so far together. You were with me through the good times, the bad times, the terrible hairstyles. I thought we’d fall apart when you started selling my personal information to advertisers – god, that was rough – but I forgave you, and we worked through it.

And the truth is, you’ve pushed me away. You know how you were so suspicious of me and Google+? Well, you were right. Yeah. I went there. And guess what? I’ve been seeing Twitter for months. MONTHS. I know you got suspicious. I could see how you looked at Twitter, how you started trying to compete. Well, you’ll never compete. Twitter is my future, and you’re my past.

I’m sorry. I tried to make it work, but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t see you make an idiot of yourself.

A part of me will always love you.

Amelia x

p.s. And you know what? Your user interface DOESN’T look like everyone else’s. I was just being polite.