Workout Music for Hipsters

Well, maybe not ‘hipsters’. But workout music for people who really don’t want to have an autotune drawling in their headphones ‘I wanna make you sweat’. Thing is, all of that empty, rubbish, stupid music is actually rather good for working out, thanks to the BPM. Ratbags. What to do? What’s left for you if you’re a gym bunny, and yet you’d rather wear high tops than trainers, and your workout wardrobe is 90% American Apparel? First of all, you need to step away from the post-ironic ‘Physical’ by Olivia Newton John. I say this because it’s on every workout playlist I’ve ever made, even though it isn’t actually that conducive to working out. But I love ONJ more than lychee macaroons. Ok, maybe don’t step away from her.

But here, have a few songs that’ll get you moving. I’ve thought a lot about this. Essentially, I’ve been back at the gym long enough for the initial glowing, sweaty, happy thrill of the whole thing to wear off, and I’m BORED. Music is sometimes the only thing that pulls me through a workout. So I’ve compiled a few tracks that will make you work just that little bit harder. There are so many tracks I could choose, but I’ve just gone with my current playlist. Enjoy – and please feel free to give me any suggestions you might have, I’ll get bored of this lot very shortly!

1. Vlad the Impaler – Kasabian

Oh hell yes. Something about the machiney, metallic fizzing noise of the intro makes me move like some kind of workout robot. I strongly recommend this for the cross trainer, because holding the bars in your hands makes you feel like Vlad, running about with spears in your hand. I get all ‘into character’ on this and do a really fierce face. Way too much fun, definitely try this.

p.s. Yep, that’s Noel Fielding in the vid.

2. Walk Idiot Walk – The Hives

YOU can be that idiot! Good for treadmills or rowing machines, this one. It’s a little slower paced, but still aces.

3. Oh Really – Goldheart Assembly

Just amazing. Big, grinding song with an extremely catchy chorus. One for the treadmill.

4. Intergalactic – Beastie Boys

Not sure about fitting this in with the hipster definition, but this is AMAZING. The fact that they shout the final word of every line gives you a bit of a push to keep going, and the repetitive churning of the beat will keep you working at it.

5. Sing a Simple Song – Sly & The Family Stone

This definitely pushes the brief of a workout song, but it’s just so insistent and amazing that you can’t help but enjoy it. And if you can help but enjoy it, then I feel sorry for you. Try a little do, re, me, fa, so, la, ti, do…

6. Sleepyhead – Passion Pit

Just so weird and beautiful, and actually makes you feel strangely elated while working out. What more could you ask for?

7. Something is Squeezing My Skull – Morrissey

Come on, man. It was never going to be an indie playlist without a bit of the daffodil-waving one. Surprisingly great to accompany a workout.

8. Over and Over – Hot Chip

This is a workout classic. It achieves this weird sensation where you almost drift out of yourself and into somewhere a little bit above your right ear. Perfectly for when you need to just mindlessly work out for a bit and not think about what you’re doing.

9. Lisztomania – Phoenix (Alex Metric Remix)

It MUST be the remix for full effect. Pretty slowish at first, so maybe good for resistance machines or weights. When the ‘watch yourself!’ bit kicks in, you’ll be feeling like a superhero.