Hello. My name’s Amelia, and welcome to my brand spanking new blog. I’ve been keeping a cookery blog for a few months, and while I’ll still be running that, I’ve been leaning towards doing something new. But what, I wondered? I adore fashion, but I’m not confident enough to post photos of myself in my various ‘creations’, so that was out. I tried keeping a blog of my daily life when I was about 15, and it was a) nauseatingly self-indulgent, and b) entirely pointless. I wanted it to be creative and constructive, and something to motivate me, yet not be solely ABOUT me.
Now, in the third week of January, I find myself fast losing motivation. I’m jobless, aimless, unfit (just read my cookery blog to find out why….), and all the dreams, ideas, and in fact ideals I had in my ‘yoof’ seem to be growing ever more distant. Why? Because every day I lose sight of who I want to be – and once that diminuishes, I simply don’t know what to do with myself every day. At school, my days were made up of things that would lead me towards my goal – of going to university, of being an actor. At university, it was the same. Then, in my third year, the quiet but creeping realisation that acting wasn’t, in fact, what I wanted to do, followed by several dispiriting post-uni jobs, and here I am today. I have simply no idea what I want to do, who I want to be, and I have (and this is the important one) NO IDEA HOW TO BE HAPPY.
There are beautiful, wonderful, brilliant things all around us. You might find your beauty in, say, the sea. Or, a blackbird. Or, a candy necklace (that last one’s mine. Candy necklaces are pure uninhibited JOY.) I can take marvellous, total, childish glee from small things, but recently it’s like I haven’t been able to see them. The clashing, roaring noise of self-doubt, self-pity, and Will Self (sorry, ran out of ‘selfs’) grows ever louder in my ears, and I forget to just be happy. Or, in fact, to just…be.
So, I hear you asking, where do you, the reader, come into this? I can see you shaking your head and thinking ‘she’s already said she wouldn’t do a misery memoir! It says it right there in the first paragraph! Give me my coinage back’, etc etc. But fear no more, because this is where the misery STOPS, and the happiness BEGINS. All that ‘orrible stuff above was just to give you a background as to who I am, and why I need to bring a little bit of sunshine into my – and hopefully, your – life.
Alright, then. So what’s the blog actually about?
Good question, maestro. Each week, I’ll be setting myself a project, or a challenge. It might be small, or it might be as big as climbing Everest (disclaimer: I almost certainly will not be climbing Everest). I want to push myself out of my comfort zone, get up off the sofa, and do something new. I’ll keep a record of what I’m up to, why I’m up to it, as well as lots of lovely jubbly pictures so you don’t snooze off.
It’s not just about making me a better person (it is really…) But I hope (get ready for naff) that I can perhaps inspire someone else to do something new. You can join in with me, or cheer me on, or heckle me, or just read my blog secretly and never write me anything, because that’s also cool.
If you’re interested, then stick with me. I’ll be posting details of my first project very shortly, as well as some pictures or videos that might cheer you up if you’re having a bad day, you poor sausage.
Well, that’s me. Erm – watch this space?